The Care and Feeding of Dragons

Stacey: Apparently, there has been some concern about there being a dragon in the household.

Roni: Some people have been worried that it could be dangerous.

Stacey: But Roni and I assure you that we are all perfectly safe.

Roni: Garren is completely housebroken.

Stacey: And he occasionally breaks things in the house.

(Roni elbows Stacey in the ribs.)

Stacey: (oof) I mean, he's fine. We're all fine. Really.

Roni: Here are a few things you should know about the proper care and feeding of dragons.

Stacey: First, we discovered that Garren loves caramel corn.

Roni: BUT, through the generosity of a wonderful friend (thank you, Mary,) we discovered that (aside from large slabs of meat) the perfect dragon food is this:

The perfect dragon food.

Stacey: Along with the perfect drink for dragons:

Notice the "NO CAFFEINE", VERY important when feeding dragons.

Roni: And with the nights finally cooling off, we come to our second tip.

Stacey: Dragons LOVE fleecey blankets.

Roni: Piles of them.

Stacey: Garren has a large pile of fleece blankets that he sleeps on.

Roni: And his favorite blankie is this one.

Garren's favorite blankie.

Stacey: But DON'T call it a "blankie" in front of him.

Roni: He feels that the word "blankie" is not macho, and therefore not befitting a dragon.

Stacey: So seriously, don't do it.

Roni: And finally, we had a small issue this last week. So we figured we would let all of you know this little tidbit so you don't make the same mistake that we did, should you decide to keep a dragon in the house.


Stacey: Judy, Roni, and I love art. So, we came across this AWESOME picture online this last week.

Roni: Unfortunately, Garren took it the wrong way, and this set him off in a tizzy.

Stacey: Something about being mistaken for a monster at some point in his life, and those darn bears and their miniature weapons.

Roni: We still haven't gotten the whole story out of him.

Stacey: But we have had to put all of the teddy bears in the house into the witness protection program.

Roni: They are now Garen's nemeses.

The nemesis of all dragons (according to Garren)

Stacey: Nemesi?

Roni: They are the enemy.

Stacey: According to Garren.

Roni: (Nodding) According to Garren.

Stacey: So for the safety of all the teddy bears, we have "put them away".

Roni: Where all the teddy bears are safe and sound.

Stacey: Although we have heard rumblings of a rebellion.

Roni: What???

Stacey: Nothing. I just heard the bears talking...

Roni: What? No! Excuse me...

(Roni sprints down the hallway.)

Stacey: *ahem* Yeah. So this concludes today's lesson about the care and feeding of dragons.

(CRASH)

Stacey: What was that?

(BANG)

Stacey: Uhm, you may have to excuse me...I think the bears have escaped...

(SLAM)

Roni: (from the other room) They have Garren cornered!

Indigo: (getting up off the couch) I told him that they wouldn't take this well.

Stacey: Will he hurt them?

(CRASH)

Indigo: Have you seen Garren fight? (Indigo heads to the hallway.)

Stacey: No.

Indigo: The bears will be fine. (over his shoulder) You may need to get the first aid kit for the dragon though.

Stacey: OK. I think we're done here. Thanks for coming back. 

(Small horn sounds a CHARGE toot.)

Stacey: See ya next week. (Bolts down the hallway.)